We remorse to notify you all that we have reached the topmost Polishing Cloth. I take full accountability for my small part in attainment us to this point.
The one-liner was guileless: Looked over here and watch with us at yet a new disgracefully priced Apple accessory! The internet strains clunk, and nothing gets more clicks than roughly that’s egregiously costly when it shouldn’t be. It was, as we say in the shit posting production, a bit.
Don’t get us mistaken. The Apple polishing cloth thing is imprudent. The $19 overvalued microfiber square is now back-ordered into unconsciousness. But after saying my bit about the cloth, I reckoned it’d slide away into the black hole where so many elapsed blogs have expired before it.
The news sequence is constantly mixing, and we as a species need to continuously be amused, annoyed, or engrossed in making/sending memes. A rash $19 cloth motivates all three, but the internet also has the courtesy period of a stirrer. It’s only a matter of time before Apple surfaces the “next” polishing cloth.
We asked our editor, who came into ownership of an Apple Polishing Cloth when he reviewed the nano-textured 27-inch iMac last year, how he would define the product: “It feels like luxury, that’s all he can say,” he said. It’s superior to a microfiber cloth, but not something he’d essentially spend her own money on. This is possibly the usual assumption we should’ve all grasped.
But unfortunately, here we are. iFixit has done a teardown of the cloth. Surprisingly, it’s truly two clothes attached together. The New York Times has published a semi-ridiculous, excessively thoughtful exploration into the cloth. There is a Twitter imitation account. Some seller is selling it on eBay for $48, and surprisingly people out there will probably buy it.
Apple is likely inspecting all this with confused befuddlement, tapping us cuds on the head for giving it free marketing for something that doesn’t justify this much consideration, counting its billions. As of this text, the cloth is back-ordered through early January. This was not how the polishing cloth witticisms were hypothetical to turn out, and truly, it was over the second Elon Musk tweeted about it.
Apple Polishing Cloth is not at all a Good Choice!
I was wondering why this made us angry, but I think I’ve figured it out.
This entire cycle is miserable; in the way, many things are these days in tech media as we dash toward our dystopian metaverse future. Something is senseless so we bloggers poke fun. Is it our best effort? Our most expressive? Not predominantly, but life is inflexible. Sometimes a chortle is what gets you concluded the day and so, you might as well have as much amusing as you can.
After all, Google has an algorithm, and if anyone is going to pay consideration to the worthy stuff, we got to talk about the stupid stuff, too. You do it since the good stuff is why you log on every day, why you deal with foolish services you can’t control. You do it because when you get it factual, it’s the finest sensation in the realm, and you’ll pursuit that sentiment till you merely can’t any longer.
But the meaningless dumb thing that creates folks teasing inexorably converts distorted into something it wasn’t meant to be. It gets selected by the Elon Musks of the world, commercial dingbats with more hair than bits of intelligence who someway grasp all the influence. There’s nothing we, as humble writers, can do about that, even however I’ve been complicit this whole time. I just wish we could’ve appreciated the unwise hilarious thing a bit lengthier.
You might be thoughtful: It’s not that thoughtful. It’s just a $19 polishing cloth. But it was not ever near the polishing cloth.