TL;DR: Studies link online dating to less successful relationships unless the couple talks about the relationship on social media. This effect exists for married and non-married couples alike. The effect does not exist for couples that meet offline.
A 2024 study published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking found that married couples who met through a dating app and decided not to discuss their relationship on social media experienced lower relationship success. In contrast, there was no difference in success regardless of how people met for spouses who discussed their relationships online. One possible explanation for this is the couples’ level of online activity. If you’re someone who is very active online and to whom sharing on social media is important, whether to announce an exclusive relationship, a job promotion, or anything else, doing so might improve your prospects regardless of the facet of life.
That said, should we use social media to define relationship boundaries? One obvious reason for doing so would be to express joy at finding a potential soulmate, which one wishes to share with all their contacts, followers, etc. Exclusivity in relationships isn’t what everyone aims for, and one might turn to social media to seek additional partners. There are specialized clubs and platforms whose members seek unconventional relationships, such as non-monogamous ones, and these clubs or platforms can be a targeted venue for this purpose. One increasingly popular form of nonmonogamy is soft swinging, a gateway to regular swinging that involves only cuddling or kissing someone else in your partner’s presence and nothing beyond that.
Contents
Researchers’ above findings suggest social networks help compensate for the absence of traditional support, which relationships that start through online dating don’t enjoy. That said, the pattern differs for non-marital relationships. Partners who discussed their relationship on social media and met through online dating also experienced greater relationship success. There was no difference in success between couples who met online and couples who met offline for those who didn’t share anything about their relationship on social media. The authors of the study expressed surprise at the results. Apparently, online dating was linked to lower relationship success for married couples unless they talked about their relationship on social media. Non-married couples who met online also experienced more success when they discussed their relationship on social media.
Evidently, these results have broad implications beyond stating that online dating leads to worse relationships. The study linked online dating to less successful marriages, but online dating had no significant effect on unmarried couples’ relationships. Sharing updates, seeking advice, or otherwise involving one’s social network in the relationship could boost success for people who meet online.
Online dating isn’t going anywhere
Another possible conclusion is that meeting online simply doesn’t lead to more serious relationships, and they don’t get more serious than marrying your partner. However, online dating isn’t going anywhere. In 2023, 30% of US adults reported having used a dating app or site at least once, the same percentage as four years earlier. Statistics confirm the sentiment within the above conclusion: married adults are far less likely to have used online dating sites or apps than adults who have never been married (16% vs. 52%). Adults who are separated, divorced, or widowed (36%) and those currently living with a partner (46%) are also likelier to have tried online dating than married adults. In 2020, just under 40% of couples met online, the highest rate ever.
Final thoughts
Previous research has had mixed findings, with some studies showing online dating led to less satisfying and stable relationships. The results of a 2024 study comparing the marriages of people who met online and offline (923 married US adults) showed online daters reported less stable and satisfying marriages than offline daters. External pressures on relationships, such as distance and societal marginalization, could explain this effect. Participants who met online faced greater distances and marginalization, impacting their perception and disclosure of network approval and their marriages’ stability.